Struggling

Yes he did it. He did the actions, but I made sure it got this bad.
he kept his mouth shut and did everything he could to help me. I betrayed him.
The guilt is consuming me. I see the way I hurt him
The initial amazingness wore off.
The amazing orgasms wore off.
The reality is his life is forever changed and I could have made it not this bad.
And I dont know how to forgive myself for that.
And I didnt tell him.how bad it was.
He no longer trusts me, I feel it.
Long distance can't survive without trust